


Visibility

by thesirensong



Series: Big Brother Creativitwins Au [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Body Dysphoria, Gen, Gender Dysphoria, Trans Male Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Trans Male Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, hes had top surgery, one instance of remus, transitioned roman
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-01
Updated: 2020-04-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:22:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23433115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesirensong/pseuds/thesirensong
Summary: Virgil is fourteen year old trans kid who hates his body. Roman's here to give him someone to relate to.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders
Series: Big Brother Creativitwins Au [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1681951
Comments: 4
Kudos: 126





	Visibility

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this for Trans day of Visibility. I know I'm a day late, but I wasn't about to give it up because I wanted to put something out for it.
> 
> To all of you kids who don't have parents who support you, who are hiding in the closet for your own safety or comfort, I'm here for you and I want you to know you're supported by someone. Even if it's someone you might not expect it to be.

“Hey monster!”

_ Monster monster monster. Is he a monster? Body feels too tight, and his chest is too heavy.  _

“Hey you gonna come out today? Roman and I wanted to talk to you. Nothing bad and you’re not in trouble, but it is important.”

“Go away Remus!”

Silence.

_ Did he fuck up? Is Remus going to kick him out? It’s only been a few months they could decide they hate him because he did something wrong. _

More silence. Then footsteps walking away from his door. They didn’t sound angry? His mom used to storm away when he made her mad, but he’s never made Remus mad before. How would he know if he’s mad?

Virgil’s chest grew heavier, anxiety adding itself to the dysphoria he was already dealing with.

God, fuck, it’d be so much easier to just be okay with being a girl but the very idea of someone calling him his deadname and saying ‘she’ when referring to him made him want to rip out his hair and scream.

He pulled his comforter tighter around his body, sneaking one hand out of the nest to pull his hood lower over his head. There was so much heat, what with him wearing his hoodie and curling up under his heaviest blanket, but he couldn’t bring himself to even take off his jacket.

The less of his body he could see the better.

Footsteps coming back, a light knock on his door.

“Hey knight, you in there?”

Virgil scowled, then decided seeing his arm was okay as he reached over to grab one of his heavier squishy toys from his bedside table and throwing it at the door.

There was quiet but no footsteps. He waited a few moments before ducking under his comforter entirely.

Virgil wasn’t going to deal with this right now. So what if Roman and Remus got mad at him? It’s not like they were his  _ actual  _ brothers and he doubted they could help  _ anyway _ .

Roman sighed on the other side of the door, and Virgil stubbornly curled up and refused to say anything. He gave his opinion when threw the toy, Roman could fuck off for all he cared.

“Is it dysphoria?”

He had no idea how Roman could tell that, but he was remaining firm in wanting to be left alone, no matter how badly he suddenly wanted a hug from him.

Roman’s hugs tended to engulf him, make him feel safer than he ever was before his parents left him behind. And right now? That feeling of warm safety and pressure was what he wanted more than anything.

Like hell he’d tell Roman that though.

“I’m gonna guess by your silence that I got it right. Hey, I know how shitty dysphoria is. Feels like your whole body is rejecting who you are and you want to cry every time you’re reminded you’re not cis.”

Virgil pushed his blanket off of his face then to stare at the door, confused because how the hell could  _ Roman  _ relate?

“You’re spewing bullshit,” he called, ducking back under his comforter when Roman opened the door to come in.

He heard the click of the door closing and then his mattress dipping just in front of his stomach where Roman sat.

“Not exactly. That may not be how you feel when it happens, but I’ve dealt with it for years and sometimes it still gets bad, usually happens when I’m not having a good day and I gotta shower.”

He peeked from under his blanket to look at Roman, brows furrowed in confusion as he looked at his very obviously flat chest.

“I’ve seen you wear a tanktop and have never seen a binder on you.”

Roman raised an eyebrow, looking at him incredulously.

“Virgil, buddy, that’s rude. And I’ve had top surgery, I can show you the scars if you want.”

Virgil sat up, slowly and keeping his attention on Roman so he wouldn’t have to look at his body and be forced back into a spiral of self hatred.

“...What’s top surgery?”

Roman hummed, taking a hand out of his hoodie pocket to run it through his hair.

“I’m surprised you don’t know honestly. It’s where you basically get your boobs removed.”

Virgil made a face, prompting a laugh from Roman.

“I don’t… like that word.”

“Yeah well would you rather I call em tits? Breasts? Milk sacks?”

Virgil’s disgust grew and lurched forward to shove at Roman’s arm, attempting to shove him off the bed but he was  _ heavy  _ and Virgil was small.

“Fuck you! Get out if you’re gonna be gross!”

Roman’s laughter increased, and wrapped an arm around Virgil’s shoulders and pulled him into his lap.

“Yeah, yeah, I get it you’re fourteen and think bodies are nasty.”

Virgil grumbled, but nestled into Roman’s chest. The contact felt nice and he wasn’t about to turn it down when he didn’t have to ask for it.

“Bodies  _ are  _ gross,” he said, playing with the loose shirt he was wearing.

It was one he’d stolen from Remus, the color being a puke green and there was a questionable stain on it, but it was massive and the fabric fell over him in a way that made him feel smaller. Like he was just a kid who had no idea who he was yet and that was okay.

He could feel Roman’s eyes on him, but he still yelped when the man pushed him back a bit and pulled off his hoodie.

“Here, you can have this. A matching set since you stole one of Remus’ too.”

Virgil stared at the red hoodie for a second, then eagerly grabbed it and slipped it over his head.

The added security and warmth made him relax, and he settled back against his brother’s chest.

He blinked, staring at a random spot on his bed as Roman wrapped his arms back around him.

...Huh. He hadn’t thought of them as brothers until now. But he supposed these dorky assholes weren’t the worst family he’s had.


End file.
